on the train home from Edinburgh, late

Whew. First of two gigs with La Haïm tonight. Purcell suffered a bit from the sudden imposition of an audience (it felt like I was sight-reading, even though we'd been playing the piece all week), but music came to visit several times in the Handel. 

Ursula Smith brought off a heartbreakingly beautiful cello solo in 'What passion cannot music raise and quell', from which the only conclusion I can sensibly draw is that if you want to become a really exceptional musician, first become a Danish housewife. I can't remember when I last heard so much meaningful music happen in such a short space of time. I just sat on the stage watching her as it all came out, thinking 'where does it come from?' and trying not to look at anyone in case they were as moved as I was.

Rehearsals with Emmanuelle have been hugely enjoyable and exhausting, as expected. I think one of the defining things of her approach is that rather than standing outside the music directing it (which is a perfectly acceptable model), she inhabits and participates in the music, and invites you to join her. So she's very unlikely to say 'can the wind be a bit louder at bar 47 the second time?' and far more likely to sing something, and expect you to know what she's singing and what she means by the way she's singing it. She comes across as a dazzlingly talented fellow musician with a carefully thought-out view of the whole piece, rather than as an alien species, as some conductors set out to be. She's also the only conductor who's ever sung in my ear and removed one of my socks in a rehearsal (that was last night, to amuse the chorus). But another reason that working with her is exhausting is that there is never a 'safety zone': a point when you can disengage your imagination while playing, and think 'I'm doing what is required is of me and that is enough'. Such safety zones lead to boring music.

It was sheer joy after tonight's gig to sit down with a beer and the Ursulas Leveaux and Smith. Not to reminisce much (although we've been playing together on and off for over a dozen years now), but for me at least, just to bask in the company of some remarkable musicians. Sometimes music leads you into exceptional company.

You can hear excerpts from our Kellie CD here. Hooray!