Today I was going to go to Wordsworth House and try out Bob Deegan's new William Smith harpsichord, but at 11.59am precisely, a faun decided to have a go at crossing the M74, and met a sorry end on the bonnet of the car a few in front of me. I was left with little choice but to drive over a fresh deer carcass at 70 mph, which then left my car spewing petrol all over the carriageway for no apparent reason. So I spent the next 90 minutes by the side of the motorway near the village of Crawford, waiting for the police and recovery vehicle to show up (and getting sunburnt as a result - no hat or shelter!). Thanks to the nice people who hit the deer, and their friends for giving me a lift back to Glasgow.

Only a few minutes previously I'd been listening to Greg Dyke on Desert Island Discs and marvelling at what an intoxicating piece of music Jerry Lee Lewis's Great Balls of Fire is. Once I'd got home and recovered from the shock, I went out to mow the lawn and for intoxication this evening I had to settle for the sunset, Deuchars IPA, Abba singles and the first season of Ren & Stimpy.